How The War Was Ended AKA Why Women Are Dangerous
by damn-me-4-luving-slash
Summary: Just a humerous fic that needed writing. This is why the saying of 'there's no greater wrath than a woman scorned' is true. Warnings: Yaoi, AthrunKira, mentions of Mpreg. Please review, first Gundam Seed fic.


**How the war was ended**

Summery: Just a humorous take on how the war could have been ended.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed.

Warnings: Mentions of mpreg (well at least I think they are mentions. Correct me if I'm wrong) and slash.

* * *

"The time is now; we shall overcome the oppression of the naturals and live without their prejudiced views. After all who will not let us forget the tragedy of the bloody Valentine? We shall go to WAR!" 

Patrick Zala looked on in satisfaction as his fellow council members reacted as they needed to in response to his speech. _'Everything is coming together' _he thought _'Nothing will stop me now.'_

BAM!

The large doors to the boardroom burst open and a shadowy silhouette was all that could be seen from the light emitting from the hallway.

"PATRICK ANTHONY ZALA!" a shrill woman's shout came "THE SECOND LENORE IS GONE YOU GO AND DECLARED WAR! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?"

"Excuse me," Ezalia Joule interrupted "Who are you and how did you get clearance to enter this room; this is a private meeting."

"Oh how rude of me; let me introduce myself," the lady in the doorway stepped into the room fully causing the great Decembrius leader to shake in fear. "I'm Caridad Yamato, friend of the late Lenore Zala and the idiot I was talking to before. Also I am now the guardian of Athrun Zala since it seems his father," Here Caridad gave the elder Zala a death glare "cannot take proper care of him. Now if you'll excuse me."

Turning from the platinum blonde woman she faced Patrick.

"Hi Caridad," he said meekly

"DON'T YOU 'HI CARIDAD' ME PATRICK ZALA; I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! SENDING YOUR SON TO ZAFT, STARTING A WAR, AND DON'T LET ME GET STARTED ON YOUR HOUSE! NOW WHERE IS ATHRUN?"

A low mumble emitted from the tall man.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"He's in a mobile suit." Patrick said defeated. He knew he was dead whether he told the truth or not, best not to test the temper of his late wife's long time friend.

Caridad's eyes narrowed in further anger. "And dare I ask about my son?"

Patrick shook his head.

Pursing her lips she turned to the man nearest to the computer "Get Athrun on the screen."

Not daring to argue with the psycho woman who had managed to silence the great Patrick Zala he went to work. Minutes later Athrun's face was on the screen.

"This is Athrun Zala, how may I be of service."

"Hello Athrun dear" she cooed sweetly.

The blue haired boy paled, "Aunt Caridad?"

"Tell me Athrun, why are you in a mobile suit?" Caridad asked still keeping the sickeningly sweet voice.

After opening and closing his mouth a few times he pointed a finger at Rau Le Cruset, who sat unnoticed in the corner. "HE MADE ME DO IT!" he exclaimed.

Caridad turned smoldering eyes onto the blonde man before returning her attention to her godson. "Okay, where's Kira?"

Athrun's face lit up, glad at being able to drag someone else who could share his mom's friend's wrath. "Hold on a moment I'll connect you to him."

**In space**

"Kira, there's someone who wants to talk to you on my video link?"

The amethyst eyed boy wrinkled his forehead in confusion "Who is it?"

Kira's long time friend grinned "Your mother."

**In the boardroom**

Everyone watched in amusement as Caridad Yamato continued to rant at their leader. Some of the men winced in sympathy at the treats coming from the black haired woman's mouth. The reconnection of the video link immediately caught their attention and their eyes widened in shock at the youthful face that was shown beside that of their chairman's son's.

"Mom?" Kira asked in slight dread

Caridad turned her attention from the man she was scolding to the teens on the screen.

"Kira Theodore Yamato, do I want to know why you are in that thing instead of on Heliopolis completing your studies?"

The brown haired boy winced "Nope."

"You two, home. NOW!" she yelled finally at the end of her tether.

Kira sighed "Yes mom."

Athrun also sighed knowing they were dead meat "Yes Aunt Caridad."

"Oh and Kira bring the people who put you in that monstrosity with you as well."

"Yes mom."

The screen went blank and Caridad turned back to the room full of council members. "All of you will follow me if you know what's good for you. As for you two…"

Grabbing the ears of both Patrick and Rau she pulled the protesting men out of the room followed by the silent and freaked out council members.

* * *

"And that, kids, is how the war was ended." Kira finished. 

"But Kira," one of the orphans at Reverend Malchio's orphanage whined "What happened to you and Athrun and Mr Zala and the rest of them?"

"Yeah," the rest agreed.

Kira laughed heartily rubbing his slightly protruding stomach from on top of his t-shirt. "Well, when Athrun and I got to his house my mom was waiting for us with the council members and boy was she mad…"

* * *

**The Zala Household**

A fuming Caridad surrounded by a subdued Patrick and a disgruntled Rau were waiting in the yard when the Freedom and the Justice landed. The doors to the cockpits opened and the two young pilots exited followed by a tall blonde man and a shorter woman with shoulder length brown hair. The teens approached her with caution, keeping their eyes lowered to the ground.

"Upstairs, two months." She said shortly

The two nodded before trudging into the house. Athrun shot his father a glare as he passed. 'This is entirely your fault dad.' He mouthed to him. Patrick nodded in acknowledgment.

Once she was sure the teens were inside and in Athrun's room she turned to the two new 'inmates.'

"Welcome," she said with a chilling smile "to Camp Regret."

**Two months later**

It was the last day of Athrun and Kira's grounding and they were looking forward to their release. After working out their differences they hit it off as friends once again and, after one faithful day, something even more.

_Flashback_

_Ahhhhh _

_Kira winced; the same noises had been coming from downstairs for two weeks now and he really did NOT want to think about what his mother was doing to the people of the earth forces and ZAFT._

"_Do you mind if I take a shower Athrun?" he asked turning to look at the boy longing on his bed trying to stop his vision from swimming in front of him._

"_Sure, whatever." His friend replied not paying him any mind._

_Kira shrugged at Athrun's distracted state and left for the bathroom hoping that a nice relaxing shower would help clear his stuffy head._

_Just as the bathroom door closed the one to the bedroom opened and Caridad poked her head around the door. "Three more weeks, boys. By the way dinner is ready." She looked around not seeing her son but didn't worry when she heard the sounds if the shower, " Will you tell Kira, dear?"_

"_Yes Auntie."_

"_Good."_

_The door closed behind her and Athrun got off the bed, heading toward the bathroom. He knocked._

"_Kira, your mom says it's time for dinner."_

_There was no response but the sounds of the shower continued still._

"_Kira?" he called again._

_Perturbed by the silence Athrun opened the door and stepped into the steamy room._

"_Kira, are you okay?" he asked once more dodging the scattered clothes and peering into the stall._

"_Kira!" he exclaimed entering fully paying no mind to the running water. He pressed two fingers into the unconscious boy's neck and breathed a sigh of relief at finding a pulse. Picking the light boy up and pulling him out of the now cooling water he wrapped him up into a towel and carried him into the room where he placed him under his blankets. Shrugging off his own wet clothes he dressed in his pyjamas and quickly hurried downstairs._

"_Aunt Caridad there's something wrong with Kira," He said a bit breathlessly "I found him passed out in the shower."_

_Caridad dropped her fork and hastily stood up "Who of you here are skilled in medicine."_

_Murrue stood "I know the basics of medical healing"_

"_Good enough." The worried mother said, grabbing her hand._

_The two women and Athrun raced back upstairs into the slightly stuffy room. Kira was still in the bed but he had sat up and was gazing at the wall in front of him in a feverish haze._

"_Athrun get me the thermometer." Murrue said after placing a hand on the small teen's hot forehead._

"_Okay." _

_As Murrue checked Kira to the best of her ability, Caridad busied herself with dressing him in cool pyjamas._

_When Athrun returned they took Kira's temperature and tucked him in. The anxious mom brushed her son's damp hair from his forehead and took out the thermometer when it beeped. _

"_39 _**۫**_c. He'll be going no where for a while. My poor baby." She cooed "Athrun, be a dear and look after him, I just cannot leave those hooligans downstairs by themselves. I'll be checking in on you guys every hour and I'll bring your dinner up."_

"N_o problem Aunt Caridad."_

_Ruffling his hair she left, sending one last look of concern at the boy in the bed._

_It was well after midnight when a movement woke Athrun from his pleasant slumber. He strained his eyes, trying to see what had woken him so abruptly. A low moan came from Kira's bed and had him leaping up and moving toward the sickly boy._

"_Athrun," Kira moaned "Don't leave me."_

_The boy in question sat on the side of the bed, smoothing back the sweat dampened bangs trying to calm his distressed friend. "I'm not going anywhere Kira."_

"_Athrun," he heard again. "Don't go."_

_Acting on impulse the sleepy blunette pulled his friend's smaller figure onto his own, wincing when he felt the heat emitting from his body. Gently, he rocked Kira and murmured soft words to him when it seemed he became fidgety. Finally, around half past two in the morning Kira quieted and Athrun relaxed. The heat coming from the person in his arms had lessened and the slight wheeze he'd been hearing had all but disappeared. Athrun moved to get out of the bed but Kira had fisted his pyjamas, whimpering when he tried to pry them from his grip. Too tired to fight he just settled himself more comfortably chuckling when Kira instantly cuddled closer. Yawning, he impulsively pressed a kiss into the brown hair in front of him and fell asleep._

_The next morning dawned as sunny as the others had been and Kira made to stretch however he encountered a hard something blocking him. Waking fully and raising his head he saw Athrun snoozing, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Blushing at how close he was to his secret crush hr tried to pull free but that only caused the sleeper to pull him even closer. Resigned, he took the time to examine his childhood friend's features in sleep. All the chubbiness of boyhood had all but disappeared leaving behind high, defined cheekbones and a strong chin. The soft morning light turned the sleeping boy's normally azure hair purple and long black eyelashes rested on pale, soft-looking skin. 'He looks just like an angel' the love struck boy thought while his eyes trailed down to his bed mate's parted lips. 'If I were to kiss those lips right now…' blushing again at the turn of his thoughts Kira quickly averted his eyes silently cursing his daring. It wasn't long before he was staring at Athrun's lips once more. 'He's still asleep. If I don't take this chance I may never get another like it again besides he'll never know.'_

_His mind made up he hurriedly placed a small chaste kiss to the sleeping boy's pale lips, closing his eyes at their softness. His eyes snapped open however when he felt Athrun respond and he found himself gazing into sleepy green orbs._

"_Kira?" Athrun asked his voice roughened by sleep._

"_I..i.i.'m so sorry Athrun," Kira stuttered while trying to put as much distance from him and his friend as possible. The arms around his waist just tightened even more though and pulled him closer than before._

"_Can I kiss you again?" the blue haired boy asked while gazing into the amethyst eyes of the petite angel he held in his arms._

"_Huh?" Kira asked confused. 'Isn't he supposed to hate me and say he doesn't want to be friends with a freak like me?'_

"_I said can I kiss you again," Athrun repeated while nuzzling the skin between Kira's neck and shoulder._

_Kira gave a low moan of pleasure when Athrun dragged his tongue across his skin. "Don't you hate me?" he asked in a breathless voice._

"_I could never hate you," the taller boy replied while placing kisses along the sensitive skin, making his way to Kira's jaw line. "And do you know why?"_

_Kira was past caring about the where's and why's, drowning in the intoxicating sensation of Athrun's kisses but he managed to breathe out a why._

_Athrun cupped Kira's small chin, stroking the skin gently "Because I love you too much."_

_Eyes glazed with lust snapped open at the confession but shut again once Athrun closed the distance between them and gently placed his lips on those of his friend's. Eagerly he responded to the kiss and granted entrance to the tongue probing for admittance. The kiss went on and on, the participants reveling in the feeling of completeness but soon the need for oxygen had them parting._

"_I love you so much Kira Yamato; always have." Athrun said gently, brushing back the bangs that covered the eyes he loved to lose himself in._

"_And I love you too Athrun Zala, with all my being." Kira replied._

_They moved in for another kiss but a knock on the door startled them. _

"_Breakfast is in ten minutes boys." Caridad called from the hallway._

"_Okay mom," Kira shouted back._

"_How are you feeling Kira, dear?"_

_Returning his gaze to the boy lying beside him Kira replied loud enough for his mother to hear. "I'm feeling tons better."_

"_And it's all thanks to you Mr. Zala," he whispered placing a small kiss on the tip of Athrun's nose._

_The two shared another kiss before rousing and getting ready for the day; content in the knowledge that they were loved by the person whom they had wanted most._

_End Flashback_

At the moment Kira was busy brushing his teeth in the bathroom and Athrun was searching for a clean t-shirt to wear. They'd agreed to meet Lacus and Cagalli along with the rest of the teens from the Archangel at the amusement park and were planning on heading to the beach afterward. After picking out a red shirt he turned to toss it onto the bed; instead he was met with the warm lips of one very aroused Kira Yamato.

"Do you know what a turn on it is for me to come out of the bathroom to see your jean clad arse sticking up into the air?" he asked huskily.

Athrun gave him a short kiss before replying "No, I suppose you'll have to educate me."

The two bent in for another kiss but were interrupted by Caridad's call from the bottom of the stairs.

"Boys, you better hurry if you still want a ride to the amusement park."

Laughing, they finished dressing and, after grabbing the already prepared beach bag from the door, they thundered down the stairs only to stop short when they saw the two neat lines of all the military personnel from both the Earth Alliances and ZAFT.

"Looks like mom has rounded them all up." Kira pointed out in slight shock.

"Wonder what she's going to do to them." Athrun mused.

Caridad chose that moment to exit the large kitchen, picnic basket in hand. "Well, are we ready to go now?"

She thrust the large wicker basket into Athrun's hands "This is for the beach. I don't expect you back until 9 in the evening so you go have fun while I deal with these miscreants." She said pointing at the lined up people behind her.

"Mom," Kira asked wearily "Just what exactly are you planning on doing to them?"

The evil grin on the brunette's face was enough to make even Azrael quake in fear. "Oh, its nothing to worry your pretty little head about sweetie. We're just going to do some skipping."

"Oh."

"Now run along, we wouldn't want to keep your friends waiting would we?"

"No Aunt Caridad." Athrun sighed slightly annoyed at being shooed out like a child.

The two of them piled into a car and were soon on their way. Satisfied that the teens were really gone she gave a sharp whistle, satisfied when her 'campers' immediately rushed outside. "Now like I told Kira," she said turning to addressed them "you'll be going skipping," Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, maybe this wouldn't be so bad "around all the PLANTS singing 'We are the stupids who started the war.' to the tune of the Yellow Submarine song. You will continue this activity until each and every one of the PLANTS has been visited and ORB also bears witness to this as well."

The look of fear returned, maybe this would be so bad.

* * *

"Did they do it?" a red head boy asked incredulously 

"Yes they did and it took them two weeks to complete just one PLANT. Mom had them going until they had visited all the PLANTS and had come here to ORB." The children gave him a disbelieving look "I'm serious; ask my Uncle Patrick or Miss Murrue and Mu."

"Kids, time to wash up for dinner," Lacus called from the house.

"Awwww." They groaned but obediently got up and ran to the house.

"Thanks for the story Kira!" they called back before disappearing into the house.

The four month pregnant man stood and stretched slightly. He walked out onto the garden's edge and gazed at the setting sun over the ocean smiling at the serenity. Strong arms wrapped around his waist and a hand wandered down to rest on his stomach.

"It's hard to believe that we've had peace for six years now isn't it?" a low, seductive voice whispered into his ear causing him to shiver in delight.

"Yeah and to think all it took was one really angry woman, in the form of my mother, to end the war." He replied turning to gaze into the emerald green eyes of his husband.

"At least one good thing came from your mother's punishments," he trailed off not needing to elaborate. Kira Yamato- Zala nodded resting his head on the strong chest before him thinking of the three war memorials that had been built in PLANT, ORB and the FEDERATION.

"Mom certainly is a character isn't she?"

Athrun laughed "That she is Kira that she is. And do you know what, I don't think any of the people who she'd taken as her 'campers' have truly gotten over their fear of her."

**Inside the house**

CRASH

"Alright who broke a plate?"

Heavy stomps on the stairs.

Panicked glances to the door of the kitchen.

"SCATTER!"

Caridad entered to find an overturned kitchen, one broken plate, bubbling pots and not an ex- soldier in sight. Grinning she bent to pick up the remains of the destroyed plate, not at all worried.

They'd be back.

* * *

A/N: And that's the end of my first Gundam Seed fic. I really didn't mean for it to turn out so shippy but I couldn't help it. I like the overall outcome though. Chose whenever you want the fic to occur, I really didn't have a specific time in mind; go figure :). I need a beta so if anyone would like to volunteer please just drop me a PM or say so in your review. Thank you for sticking with me till the end of this slightly long one shot and don't forget to review. 

Adios


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